I wonder what impact it has had on our way of thinking that in many Bibles the words of Jesus are printed in red? The implication seems to be that they are possibly the most important parts of the Bible we can read.
Jesus’ words…
But why not highlight and focus on his actions? Why choose his words?
Could that be our inherent bias for learning via spoken words rather than by action? Could it be that we see him preaching and think ‘Ah this is the important part?’
What if we went thru and highlighted everything Jesus did? To go a step further, what if we deleted everything he taught and only left his actions (I know – tricky) But I wonder what we would see and what we might learn from this.
We say that actions speak louder than words, or even that our actions are evidence of what we believe but we have put the emphasis on the words. For many of us words are cheap and easy – we can talk a good game whether or not we follow thru with action. Obviously Jesus’ life and actions were in sync, but we have chosen his words as the focus.
So I propose a new blue letter Bible where the actions of Jesus are all highlighted in blue font because these acfions are the outcome of his teaching and the stuff we are to imitate.
I watched the cafe manager make his way toward us – the 3 of us sitting at a table set for 4 – but with no 4th person in sight. He walked our way and then I saw him glimpse the teary eyes of Danelle and I. He tuned into the tone of the table and gently veered away. Now wasn’t the time to check on the meals.
We had headed out for dinner to a local cafe, partly with the intent of discussing what we will do on Sam’s birthday next week – Feb 18 – and soon to be followed by the anniversary of his death on March 24. We asked ourselves what we’d ‘like to do‘ on these days…
Simply, we’d like not to be facing a day like this… But it’s too late for that now. We are neck deep in ugly grief.and these days are brutal reminders. We shouldn’t be sitting in a cafe red eyed from tears as we discuss what would be ‘significant’ or ‘nice’ or ‘appropriate’.
How the heck would we even know?
Are there books on this stuff? Do you YouTube it?
None of us wants to look away and just press on – go to work then home, followed by a gym session. And repeat. But what do you do?
It’s not like planning a birthday or wedding. The anticipation seems to take the form of dread. But the day is coming. We are placing ourselves firmly back into the reality of his life and death. We can only relive what we have lost. Yes I know we can ‘celebrate his life’ and all that, but it’s hard to keep a foot in both the celebration and mourning camp on the same day. And to be honest it just feels way more mournful than joyous.
I sometimes feel like I am looking at this whole experience thru a window of opaque glass – like I can make out what’s going on but I am not seeing the depth of it. I wonder if I have faced this loss square on or if I’m inadvertently dodging it. I’m not sure how to know that though.
Sometimes I do just look away – hit the off switch on the ‘frameo’ as pictures of him cycle thru reminding us of his life. Some days I don’t want to see those images. Other times I sit in the anguish and allow it to wound me again, reminding myself of how much there was to be grateful for – that we will meet again… It’s a strong hope.
We are now that family of 3 – yeah just 3… And you can’t help but feel the incompleteness that this reality brings.
And I’ve got kinda used to shedding tears in public places – because this is just how it is. Sometimes tears flow and it would be dishonourable to try and pretend they don’t. I am happy to shed tears for this boy. If you happen to be present or see it then just roll with it.
And as we have gone thru this year I have been reminded again more than ever that we all carry pain – some of us have the cold, brutal, permanent pain of a death, others the ongoing ever present pain of a marriage gone south, or a terminal illness. Some live with tormented minds – damaged souls, even if they present ok… I’d put money on it that everyone is dealing with pain of some sort.
And sometimes it’s hard to stop and explain it afresh to someone. I had a phone call this week with a person I had never met before and the longer we talked the more I felt that I needed to cue him into what had happened 11 months ago that had put out lives in this kind of holding pattern. I imagine it helped him make sense of our current life situation.
And if you find yourself in the presence of people you don’t know well who are in pain then take a cue from one of our local Thai Restaurant waiters. Danelle had dinner with my brother’s stepdaughter here a month or so back and over the evening both shed some tears at the losses they had experienced. At the end of the meal as they were paying the bill, the young waiter simply said ‘I don’t know what you are going thru, but I hope you’ll be ok.’ A simple kindness and a recognition that two people had shared their pain in his space.
You take a week off, spend it in the country, then next thing you know you are wondering what it would be like to move there – to live there permanently- to establish a new home and community.
And I guess the answer to that question probably depends largely on what you believe your sense of calling is and how that may play out in a new environment. My calling is embedded in the title of this blog – to be a missionary in my own backyard – specifically Australia. When given that title it becomes specific but also broad – ” Australia” is a very big and diverse place.
How does that work?
A quick side track before I get to the point – my sense of “calling” first developed after a basketball tour of the Philippines. I came home wanting to be a ‘sports missionary’. It was a way I could serve God and use my athletic capacity. So I headed off to Bible College to prepare for this adventure. However along the way, my focus on the Philippines got railroaded. The person I was supposed to meet to arrange things didn’t show up – and as it was the late 80’s we couldn’t just re-schedule a zoom call or Facetime. It was the era of actual handwritten letters or occasionally phone calls.
In that same year my own church was looking for a youth pastor and a series of events led me to put up my hand and get the role. For several years I was employed part time as a youth pastor at Scarborough Baptist Church and part time as a phys ed teacher at Scarborough High School. The same year 9 boys in my health ed class on Friday afternoon were the ones who fronted up to youth group later that evening- and they continued calling me ‘sir’.
I knew my heart and my focus was always on there who weren’t in church – who didn’t get it and who had very little idea about faith . It took me a long time to work out how to be a missionary in that space. I felt very constrained by the conventions of Baptist church life. I remember being thoroughly rebuked by an older man because an article in our local newspaper about our evening ‘ outreach’ service didn’t mention God or the Bible. I probably gave back as good as I got in that exchange, as by that time I was thoroughly infuriated by supposed ‘elders’ who lacked any kind of simple grace, let alone missionary acumen and vision.
As my time in youth ministry progressed I became increasingly concerned for how we related the gospel to post – moderns. (It was the 90’s) I read all the books and learned the missiology that went with this. There was a point when it dawned on me that my identity was still that of a missionary but of one to this great, deeply secular country.
I doubt I will ever venture overseas in mission, but I am constantly seeing opportunities and ‘people groups’ right here in our own backyard. The challenge I find is remembering that its not “on me” to reach them all. The Spirit is already at work and inviting people into life. My job is more that of the midwife – assisting with gestation and birth.
Old style Christendom mission work often involved big tent crusades or inviting people to events where they would get ‘saved,’ (or they would at least have an experience that left them feeling better than when they arrived.) That type of mission may still have a place somewhere , but my current context isnt one where I could imagine it successful.
I sense most mission in our country today happens as ‘missionaries’ stay in a place long enough for their lives to have credibility and for their message to have coherence with everyday life. It takes a long time for people to assess your life and see if you are the ‘real deal’, or just another rabid evangelist behaving like a multi-level marketer.
After 14 years in one community I feel like we can now say that people know who we are and also accept us as those people. We are the local ‘God botherers’ but we have also been able to communicate the message of Jesus in a way that makes sense to these people – and some accept the message while others ponder it further, or simply reject it. Its much the same scenario Paul worked with in Acts 17.
So back to my original musing. To pull stumps now and relocate to a new community, no matter how enticing would be very difficult. I sense it would have to be a 20 year / forever decision if we are going to remain true to our calling. I never put anything ‘off the table’ when it comes to future adventures, but I do constantly find myself wondering if we undervalue the power and impact of stability – being a permanent and solid presence in a specific place.
Yesterday while surfing I had the board hit me hard in the face – my teeth split my lip and there was a fair bit of blood. On the beach, or in the water were 4 or 5 people I could have asked for help because we have an existing relationship – but as it turned out 2 young girls walked with me up the beach while another man drove me home,’ I didn’t know any of them – but they were pretty keen to ensure I didn’t drive!
Stability means that over time you slowly get to know more people and they see you in good times and bad. They see lives lived in surrender to Jesus (as best we are able) and they have observed us in celebration, as well as in tragedy.
Sometimes words are needed to articulate why we live as we do – why our vision of an alternate kingdom and our surrender to a good king is the basis for our life. Sometimes actions and attitudes do the work themselves. But it happens slowly and often ‘unintentionally’, osmotically even. We just live our lives and hope that the allegiance to the king causes enough curiosity and maybe even inspiration for others to want to know more.
But it takes time. Stability takes time and even then it is not enough to simply inhabit the same home for 20 years, stability needs expression in presence and participation – being visible in the community as well as involved in some way. This is not rocket science. It’s as simple as walking the dog and being aware and engaged as you walk, It’s taking your kids to swimming lessons the hanging around and engaging. It’s prioritising local work in your business. It simply isn’t enough to exist, but neither is it a complicated process to be present and participating in a community.
To step it up one more notch, I would say the next priority is availability. In a world where people are often so busy , to have time for people is a gift. It’s in these spaces unfettered by rigid time constraints that conversations can wind into topics that get bypassed in small talk. Mission starts with stability , it gains traction with presence and participation, then it moves further with a commitment to availability and to genuine, sometimes costly engagement.
If you get to here then chances are you are living with a missionary posture, practicing missionary habits and then praying and trusting that the Great Missionary will be doing his work in peoples’ hearts and minds. All’s left to do is assist in the birth process and welcome new life.
Oh – and if you just moved house , or you’re about to do so, consider the next place you go as a potential 10-20 year commitment, then begin engaging in your community and see what develops.
