After a 40km drive down a dusty corrugated road we arrived at what was once the town of Wittenoom – in its day the largest town in the Pilbara region – but now literally a ghost town – a town site with run down houses that have simply been vacated and the contents left to rot or be looted.

We cruised in and parked up near the old convent and guest house – 3 carloads of us – and got out to take a walk around and see what the place looked like. It had been a few years since we were last there and I was curious to see what had changed. Since first going there back in 2011 it has become a bit of a favourite place of mine for solitude and quiet.

But on this particular morning it was anything but quiet.

We got out of the cars into the blazing sun and within seconds heard an angry Eastern European voice yelling expletives. Many of them – aggressive and clearly directed at us. At first we wondered if the bloke was yelling at his dog – but slowly we realised – nope… it was definitely us… Essentially he was telling us (in vernacular vocabulary) to get out of there.

What to do?…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A rumble went around the group – maybe we just get back in the cars and get out of there – is it safe?. This one resident (one of three or four who still remain in the town) clearly didn’t want us there and who knows where it could go… More than likely he would have a loaded gun in that house of his and we really didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his anger.

I was for taking a walk around – but I didn’t want to put anyone in danger – or have people feeling scared. Then Danelle said to me ‘Do you want me to go over and talk to him?’

‘Yeah’ I said ‘That sounds like a good idea.’

You’re probably thinking ‘Really?… What part of sending your wife to speak to a crazy dude sounds like a good idea?’

I know it may seem like an odd course of action, but over the years we have discovered that there are times when Danelle can walk into a volatile situation and bring calm and this just felt like one of those moments.

Another murmur around the group about whether its wise / safe etc, but by the time we had agreed she was already half way there. She walked slowly towards this older man with his wild bushy beard and menacing tone and said ‘Hi – sorry – were we disturbing you?’

He launched into a rant about the place being private property and people coming and running amok and leaving a mess. She responded by agreeing that what had happened wasn’t cool and then let him know she grew up in the area and wanted to show her friends around the town if that was ok with him.

Instantly he softened – she had found some common ground and shown she wasn’t there to fight him. They chatted about where she had lived, her memories of the area and as their conversation ended he said ‘ok sure – look around but close the doors after you.’

She strolled back and gave us the green light – now somewhat of a hero in the group for disarming Mr Angry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So what happened there?

We hit a volatile situation and she made peace. In that moment there was a choice to ignore him, escalate the conflict or to run away. In each of those scenarios no one wins, but by walking over and speaking to him she gave him an opportunity to be someone with real concerns and she allowed him to see reasonable people who didn’t want to destroy his town. I’d suggest she showed him a different way to deal with conflict.

And why didn’t I go with her?

Because she’s good at this stuff – at disarming angry people and bringing calm. There have been other testosterone charged situations where I have hung back – not out of fear, but out of wisdom, knowing that Danelle will be able to get a hearing and often bring peace, whereas my presence (as a bloke) could just antagonise and bring more conflict.

In the end we went for a walk and explored some pretty quirky old buildings, and enjoyed a piece of West Oz history that may not be there for much longer. We took a drive out to the gorge and the old mine site and then made our way out of there, but the talk of the day was how Danelle had the courage to go and talk to the angry bloke and brought peace

I’m sure there are times when it wouldn’t be wise to do what she did, but for the most part it just takes a bit of courage and kindness to see not a madman – but a man – a man who wanted to be heard and taken seriously.

So many times in life when conflict hits we have the opportunity to make peace or to seek a ‘win’. I like what the Bible says ‘as much as it depends on you live at peace with everyone’, appreciating we can’t control what other people do but we can choose our own course of action and a ‘win’ is always when we find peace and relationship rather than one person getting their way at the expense of the other.