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Category Archives: Amusing Myself…
Knob
About a month before we left for this trip I bought a new wetsuit. My wetsuit purchases mirror my clothes purchases these days. Price outweighs style every time…
So with some ‘Com ocean’ wetties on special at the local camping store for just $60 I was right there. I purchased a ‘large’ without even trying it on and headed home happy with my purchase – a real bargain! I should have tried it on as it was clearly made for a ‘large’ Asian man… and was a tad tight for me. However 2 surfs got it worn in and it was feeling good.
Then on my third surf – yesterday morning – the zip broke – just as I was about to paddle out… Bummer… And the receipt is in a filing cabinet at home.
We needed to get a new tap for the camper as the old one had lost it’s pumping action so I headed down to BCF to get the tap and try to exchange the wetsuit.
I picked up the tap and then spent the next 30 minutes waiting for the BCF crew to sort out wetsuit. They spoke to their supplier who agreed to an exchange, but then they couldn’t find that exact model in stock… So the manager got involved and tried to find a solution. I waited patiently in the hope that things would work out well… And the BCG people worked hard to sort things out… It was taking a long time and I was doing my best not to get annoyed.
When the manager came to see me after half an hour of confusing phone calls back and forward she informed me that the reason they couldn’t find the exact match was because I had purchased it as Anaconda… They are the sole distributors of ‘Com Ocean’ wetsuits…
As the words left her mouth I had that embarassing and excruciating memory of having actually bought the wetsuit in their Osborne Park store…
Did I feel like a knob?!…
After some apologies (and relief that I hadn’t become pushy with them) I headed off to Anaconda where they did a straight exchange and sent me on my way. Sadly they didn’t have an XL so I am back wearing an L and hoping the zip doesn’t bugger up.
If it does then at least I will go to the right shop this time!
An Aussie GPS
Today as I was driving into Brisbane I started to get annoyed with the gentle dulcet tones of my GPS as she softly instructed me to ‘bear right’ or ‘enter the motorway’. She sounds like a lovely woman and is incredibly patient. Even when I am heading in the opposite direction all she says is ‘make a U turn as soon as possible’.
I started to ponder GPS’s wondering firstly why they tend to have female voices… but the answer was self explanatory so I moved on.
I started to wonder if there might be a market for a more macho navigational instrument that speaks to you like a mate would rather than like a primary school teacher to a 6 year old. Some more beefy instructions would be much more entertaining…
When driving in the right lane – ‘Get in the left lane you moron. Waddya reckon you own the *&#% road?’
When approaching lights instead of alerting you to the presence of red light cameras it could just say ‘tramp it mate! You’ll get thru!’ followed by cheering and applause that increases with the speed of the vehicle.
When you have missed your turn off – ‘crikey dipstick – what’s so difficult about turn right/left!’
When you are on a long stretch – ‘break out a beer mate. This is gunna take a while.’
Perhaps like today when the maps loaded on the GPS are out of date and you are driving round the city swearing at the stupid machine it could be programmed to give a bit back…
Whatever the case – surely we can make GPS driving more interesting than it is at present…
Rant over…
Propaganda Works
Sadly… propaganda works
I wish I could easily recall a time when I heard a politician from the left side of politics actually affirm the decision of someone on the ‘right’, or vice versa. But it seems that written into the political job description is ‘except in the most embarrassingly obvious situations DISAGREE at all costs!’
It seems every time the left has an idea the right will fault it… Or every time the right do something well the left find flaws.
If life were as black and white as some politicians make it sound then it would be simple to choose who to vote for… But what you actually read is not pure information or even reasoned opinion, but ‘propaganda’ – a unique kind of perspective and one that actually insults the intelligence of the listener.
It assumes we are dumb enough to see complex questions as having simple solutions. It assumes us = good and them = bad.
It ought to be an embarrassment to the people who use it, and it should be – except that it works! People fall for the nonsense that gets said on tv and in the media – more fool us…
Let’s be honest folks – no political party has all the right answers – nor is any of them devoid of some useful insights, but the rabid bickering and arguing that seems to characterise so much of the political game is so tedious.
In fact its one of the main reasons I have never run for prime minister…
Inventions
In the last 24 hours I discovered these two inventions.
The ‘She-Wee psycho download ‘ is for girls who don’t like to make the long trip to the dunny at night when camping and the ‘Bisect beverly hills cop ii free ‘ is a great travel surfboard – for the extremely wealthy…
Let me know if you buy one!
My Wife Loves Leo Sayer
Yesterday there was palpable glee in the Hamilton home as Danelle discovered that one of the City of Wanneroo’s free concerts this year was a Leo Sayer event held right here in Brighton.
I have known of this character flaw for some time now, but have chosen to ignore it.
There are many things I love about my wife… Her Leo Sayer adoration is not one.
May God have mercy on her.
Hangman with Sam
Driving to granny’s today Sam wants to play hangman. No one wants to play with him. I feel for the poor little bloke so I offer to guess his ‘word’.
S: Ok – go dad!
H: S?
S: Wow – well done!
H: A
S: What? How did you know that!!!?”
H: M
S: Wow!! Wanna try again?
H: Ok… M?
S: What the?! (He is amazed at how smart his dad is…)
H: U
S: What?!
H: M
S: (To Danelle) How does he know these things????!!!!
H: Wanna go again?…
S: Ok this one’s hard. It has 5 letters
H: E
S: No!
H:L
S: You’re crazy mate
H: L
S: Aw…
H: I
S: silence
H: E
S: What?! How does he do it mum?!!
Sam if you ever read this the fact that you can only spell 4 words gave me a rather large advantage over you!download deliverance movie chinese kamasutra kamasutra cinese divx download
Sing
We’ve been doing a bit of singing at our Upstream gatherings lately.
We have a couple of home brew tunes and a few old faves. We’re currently working on this one… (Thanks Kev Black)
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I’m not one to gloat… however…
Yesterday was the final day of tipping for 2008 and the picture below shows the top few places in our competition.
A bit sad for Broady who has led all year… but thems the breaks…
Morgs – I might have a year off in 2009 to give you a chance to win again! BTW, did I mention I like Cab-merlot?…free unstable fables 3 pigs a baby movie download
Run Fat Boy Run!
Today is Sam & Ellie’s athletics carnival.
I am a dad who was a phys ed teacher, pretty keen athlete and trainer of athletes. When athletics carnivals came around I would be there before and after school for 3 months teaching, training and preparing kids for the carnival. We had some outstanding athletes and we developed some others because of the rigorous training we did. It was for sheep stations!
Last week I was in Sam’s pre-school class doing ‘dad duty’ when they went out for their ‘try outs’. Sam was in the third heat and waiting to run. The teacher called them up.
He stepped up to the line in racing pose – turned, smiled at me and gave me the thumbs up. The teacher said ‘go’ and suddenly they were off and racing – well the other 3 kids were. Sam had his hands cupped over his eyes and was pretending to run with binoculars on…
I still have no idea why… I think it was because the finish line looked so far away… needless to say Sam was a distant last place!
So our instructions to Sam today are ‘when you run do it without your binoculars! And try to go fast.’ (Nothing in Sam’s life happens fast)
I don’t think Sam is a phys ed teacher’s dream, but he is a wonderful little bloke.
Ellie on the other hand has been telling us how she is nervous and concerned that she might not win. She knows who her competition is and has been trying to figure out how to run faster. She is less likely to run with a pair of imaginary binoculars…