Hehehe…

Sorry Dan 🙂

You’ve got to watch the magic fridge

!

More senseless frivolity that made me chuckle…

Hehehehe!!…

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Mark Driscoll writes:

One of the toughest parts of planting a church is coming up with a good name. So, in an effort to help young church planters find the perfect name for their church I have composed the simple chart below. It follows the marketing “Rule of Three” which states that for something to be truly memorable it must have three parts. Therefore, all a young church planter needs to do is choose one word from each list to arrive at just the perfect church name. In conclusion, you’re welcome.

I think this is tongue in cheek!…

If not then here are some names that I came up with from Mark’s chart:

Shekinah Outreach Tabernacle

Overcomers Miracle Headquarters

Triumphant Bible Compound

Glory Dominion Centre

Anyway I hope it was funny because it made me grin 🙂

Recently an atheist put himself on e-bay stating that he would go to church with an open mind if people bid on his auction.

Well… he got $504.00 for his trouble. Not a bad deal really… Maybe if I put myself on as a Christian willing to go to the Mosque?…

Here is his blurb:

So, here’s my proposal. Everytime I come home, I pass this old Irish church. I promise to go into that church every day– for a certain number of days– for at least an hour each visit. For every $10 you bid, I will go to the Church for 1 day. For $50, you would have me going to mass every day for a week.

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL..

“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that ay.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.

“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS

“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

I find this funny.

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That’s all I have to say about that…

This morning I was due to take Herds to the airport so he could head off to Melbourne for the National finals of his bream fishing competition.

It was a 6.00am flight which meant leaving Brighton at 4.45am. I hit the sack pretty early and a couple of glasses of red wine saw me nod off fairly quickly.

All was going well until 2.30am”

Then Danelle woke up with a start and said ‘there’s something in our room!’

I woke up immediately with adrenalin pumping wondering what was going on. ‘Where?… What?…’ I am looking for a person, but not seeing anything.

‘Its got a beak’ she says.

‘A beak?… Like a duck?…’ I ask, wondering what the heck is going on and how a duck could have got into our bedroom.

‘Yes’ she says.

I look for a duck in our bedroom at 2.30am.

‘Sorry – just a dream,’ she announces before going back to sleep.

Unfortunately I didn’t sleep after that. Adrenalin racing and then various noises around the place kept me awake as I wondered if she really was dreaming or if there was something going on. I finished up getting up at 3.30 and doing some work, before going to the airport.

Later in the morning I rang to ask if she remembered the night’s adventure. ‘Vaguely” ‘ then a little bit more” but it wasn’t a duck, it was a platypus” ‘There was a platypus in our bedroom’.

Lets hope tonight he stays away.

Ok – I’m doing a survey.

How old do you think I look in the pic on the left?

There is a reason for my question and if the comment count gets to 20 I will tell you it.

And no smart arse answers!