Bedtime Ecclesiology

A very weary Ellie was lying in bed while I stroked her back and chatted with her.

“Tomorrow all the kids from church will be at our place honey.”

“Dad – we don’t go to a church where there is a man down the front who does a preach and all that.”

“No honey, we don’t. Would you like to? Would you rather go to church like that or be part of our church.”

“Well… you see its just that you don’t know if there’s going to be toys at the big church.”

“Yeah. But when you’re at a home there’s always toys hey?”

“Uh huh. I like that. But at the big church you get snacks and drinks.”

“Oh really? You mean after the service?”

“No. You know how they send round the little tray of drinks and the plate of bread?”

“Oh yeah…”

All very cute, but also a great time to chat with Ellie about what church is and again about the significance of communion.

Snacks, drinks and toys… a great little 21st C consumer Christian in the making!

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Losing the ability to bullshit

I think Jerry Maguire is still my all time favourite movie.

I realise its never destined to be a classic, and some of you will find me unbelievably shallow about now because of this choice! But I find myself identifying strongly with the character of Jerry, who comes to a point in life where he finds himself asking ‘Who had I become?… Just another shark in a suit?…’

This jaded but successful sports agent with more clients than he can manage, suddenly does a stocktake on the shape of his life and in a night of frightening revelation writes what he calls his ‘mission statement’, appropriately entitled ‘The things we think and do not say’.

Impulsively he races down to the local print shop in the early hours of the morning and has them run off enough copies for everyone in his office. As he places a copy of his dream in the mail-boxes of his co-workers hoping to share his vision with them he says ‘I didn’t care. I had lost the ability to bullshit. It was the me I had always wanted to be.’

His ‘mission statement’ becomes the catalyst and the vision for where his life heads from there on.

In his night of realisation he came face to face with the startling fact that he hated who he had become – that he had lost contact with his true identity.

‘With so many clients we had forgotten what was important.’

In his quest to acquire more clients and make more money he had moved away from the core ethic of his business – caring for the athletes. The words of his father and mentor Dicky Fox echoed in his ears ‘The key to this business is personal relationships,’ and somewhere along the line he had forgotten that.

The answer was going to be fewer clients, less

money and more personal attention.

It was a beautiful dream – a moment of calling back to what a sports agent really ought to be – one who looks after the best interests of the player, rather than a schmooozer who sees people as just another dollar sign destined for exploitation.

Do I need to point the parallels for those of us who have served in local church ministry?

And its especially true for those of us who have led larger churches, where people become faces in the crowd and we learn how to live with and manage that situation.

It was about 4 years ago that I had my own ‘Jerry Maguire moment’, the culmination of several years of living a conflicted existence as a pastor who questioned the shape things were taking in his church and who he was becoming in the midst of it.

There is no question that it wasn’t all bad. In fact much of it was good. We were good people attempting to do good things, but somehow I had lost touch with the core reality of who I was called to be and what we were supposed to do. I had started to become concerned for things that really shouldn’t have mattered as much as they did. I was starting to lose touch with the things that really needed to matter and along the way I was increasingly cognizant of the dissonance of my life.

The journey that has resulted in us living here in Brighton was sparked because of that need to come back to living with integrity and being who I was called and created to be.

If you remember the Jerry Maguire story you’d know it was almost the complete undoing of Jerry as he sought to stay true to his sense of calling. At times the dream faded to a distant memory and he was simply in survival mode, while he sought to look after his one remaining client and clung by his fingernails to his disintegrating life.

Our experience has been nowhere near the dramatic downward spiral that Jerry experienced, but neither has it been a fairy tale. Dreams are wonderful things and I doubt many of us would even consider getting off our backsides and trying anything at all were it not for the power of the imagination and the hope of a better future. But to leave the comfort and security of what we know to try and live in a counter-cultural way (both in society and in church culture) is both difficult and lonely.

There are many times when I am tempted to give the dream away and go back to the conflicted but secure life that I used to have. It is what I know best and it is what I did well for many years. But I am also aware that in doing so I will not be satisfied. I don’t think I have completely lost the ability to bullshit, (do we ever?) but I am hoping that the longer I try to live out of a sense of congruence with my calling and identity the less I sound like a sales rep for ‘church inc’ and the more I sound like someone who genuinely loves God and loves people.

Jerry’s is a story with a happy ending as ultimately those who laughed at him see the pleasure and the fruit of a life that is lived with integrity and seek to emulate it.

Of course life is not the movies and the chances my story will end like Jerry’s is somewhat unlikely, but I continue to be inspired by someone who didn’t just dream of a better way. He ‘hung his balls out there’ and gave it his best shot.

Then again, shallow as I am, I’d do it all just to get the chance to be that close to Renee Zelwigger!”

Reversal

As of tomorrow we will have a role reversal in our family and I will be taking care of Sam every Tuesday while Danelle gets out and does what she wants to do. Danelle has been feeling quite pressed for time and is needing some more space to connect with both God and people, so we have done a swap for a day a week.

It also gives me an opportunity to look at that day from a completely different point of view. Now rather than looking at it from a ‘what can I get done?’ perspective I have to see it from a ‘what can we do together?’ angle. The day won’t revolve around Sam, but the presence of a boofy headed 3 year old boy will obviously limit some of what I normally do!

I’m doing some exploring and imagining as to how we can have fun and use the days. So far I’m thinking it might be good to:

– take Sam to the local swimming class (although I’m not sure how keen he will be on that idea…)

– choose a couple of regular jobs to round the house and make Tuesday the day to get them done.

– have some fun father and son adventures.

– food with friends in the evenings – I am going to try and make Tuesdays a night when we have friends round for dinner. I’d like to catch up with a few more people during the week, but that usually places more pressure on Danelle to cook. So I’m thinking I’ll cook and invite friends round each Tuesday night. That wayI get to hang out and she doesn’t have the stress of worrying about the cooking. I used to be able to cook quite well, but in recent years as Danelle has done more cooking and me less, my culinary skills have taken a dive. Time to arc up again!

Danelle suggested running a men’s playgroup to catch up with some of the dads in the community, but I’m not sure if there is a ‘market’ for that sort of thing. I’m not sure if I’m the kind of bloke to run it either…

Maybe 4WDing for 3 year olds or surfing and fishing for 3 year olds… now you’re talking…

However Tuesdays turn out, I am looking forward to simply approaching the day from a different point of view and sharing it with Sam as Danelle gets to go and do what she wants to.

More of the Same II

I found it somewhat de-energising recently to look at my plans for the year and not see much that was ‘new and exciting’.

I tend to like ‘new’ and get bored rather easily if I have been doing the same thing for too long. Even really ‘good things’ lose their appeal to me after a while.

I don’t think this is a healthy thing – nor do I think it is necessarily an unhealthy thing. It just ‘is’ . But having said that it is important for me to be aware of when I need to work on something new because the time is right and when I want to work on something new because the old no longer excites me.

As I was praying this week I felt like God was saying that this period is one of those ‘steady’ periods where I don’t need to start anything new or come up with a different idea. I just need to stick at what I am already doing.

I’m fine with that. As much as it is less exciting, it is nice to (occasionally) have seasons in life where predictability and familiarity are the norm.

Over the last 10 years or so one of my learnings has been that sticking with something for as long as it takes is as important as dreaming it up in the first place. I was in my second year of youth ministry at Lesmurdie Baptist when I was offered two jobs that would have been a huge ‘step up’ in terms of a ministry career (I know there is no such thing) and after a very tough 18 months when there was little in the form of obvious results they were very tempting offers. Big churches, with quality staff and lots of kudos…

I felt called to keep pushing on where I was. Funnily enough it was soon after that the tide turned and we saw an enormous development in the youth scene. What happened? I think it was God at work, but I think it also mattered to stay the distance and simply stay true in the less exciting steady periods.

More of the Same?…

January is that time when I sit down and do planning for the remainder of the year.

My rough conclusion after some time spent over the last week is that 2006 will largely be ‘more of the same’. That is hardly inspiring is it?!…

But it feels kinda like where I am at. I don’t have any BHAGs for 2006 and I don’t think its all that smart to invent them just to have them there.

When it comes to work:

Upstream – simply needs us to keep developing presence in the community and relationships with the people God leads us to, as well as our own cohesion as a team. I have some small issues I think we can pay attention to and make adjustments on, but I don’t think we see any big ‘hills to take’ at the moment and I don’t want to invent goals to feel like we are doing something! I believe if God wants to set something in front of us at any point in the year then we’ll rise to the challenge, but for now its ‘steady as she goes’.

Forge – needs ongoing development and continued networking. No huge developments here. We are not trying to pull off any great new projects (apart from the Conference March 1-4) But it needs continued leadership and development at a sustainable pace. There are a couple of new initiatives in that I will be teaching ‘Future Church’ at Perth Bible College in semester 1 and a similar course in semester 2 at Harvest West college if all the course outlines get approved. I’d also like to explore the possibility of doing a day or weekend Forge seminar in a regional centre like Busselton or Albany. So if any of you country guys reckon we can make it happen then drop me an email.

Baptist Youth Coaching – nothing really new here at all. I just keep meeting with the guys/girls as they would like to. I will try and read a couple of decent coaching books but that’s about it. This is a very simple role, yet also one I see as incredibly important. I have really enjoyed the relationships I have made this year with out youth pastors and look forward to keeping going here.

On a more personal note, some of the things I’d like to do include:

– possibly a scuba course (I like to learn one significant ‘new thing’ each year and this could be it) Its just pretty expensive for courses and gear…. we’ll see.

– explore study options and make a decision by September what I will do (see post below)

– plan a 3 week holiday somewhere in the year not linked to any work committments (will need to block that in now I think!)

– redo some paving in the backyard – its been frustrating me for a while now, so I need to get it done.

– investment – learn more about the best way for us to use money wisely and invest for the future. We are in the process of building an investment property and epxect to learn a lot around the middle of the year. Hopefully not hard lessons!

– be more efficient with my personal disciplines – spirituality, exercise and diet (this one is an ongoing one…)

The year just gone has felt like one of the most satisfying I have had in a long time – yet at times also quite frustrating. I like to move fast and achieve a lot. Last year I moved steadily and didn’t achieve as much. However in those 12 months I didn’t get sick once, I rarely felt oveworked, pressured or run down, enjoyed life and did still get a fair bit done.

I have discovered that when I am in achievement mode I am not such a nice (easy going/relaxed) bloke to be around. I can be quite driven.

However in this more balanced mode I get much less done, but I think I’m easier to live with and a bit more likable.

Its a discipline for me to live at a sustainable pace, but its gradually becoming more and more of a way of life. As I thought today about planning some huge goals and really driving hard I just didn’t warm to it any more. When I live like I do at present I am able to have a great relationship with my wife and kids, I can be available to spend time with friends and I’m able to enjoy life.

Its always about living in the tension!

So… 2006 will be the year of ‘steady as she goes’. While that does not inspire me at all, I have a sense that this is what God asking of me. I’m sure along the way challenges will arise and ideas will inspire me, but right now its all quite vanilla.

Further Study?

I have been pondering doing further study. I am not a masochist. This year I will be taking the time to pray about it, research possibilities, talk with Danelle and our Upstream team about it and see whether I can begin some new study in 2007. It would only be one unit a semester, but because life is in such good balance at the moment I am reluctant to add any load that would throw it into a spin. I am concerned about whether I could add it to my life and not lose time for the things that matter. Hence the year to chew it thru and talk with others about it.

If you are in the ‘study loop’ and can offer some suggestions as to where would be suitable then I am happy to hear. I’ll give you a few ideas as to what I am thinking.

The reasons for study… in order of priority:

– There is some stuff I’d really like to explore in a disciplined and full way. If I get to do what I’d like to do I think it would make me a much better missionary.

– I now study less than when I was a ‘full time pastor’ because I don’t need to (I preach /teach less) and I miss the regularity of it. (You may just say ‘get more disciplined’, but that’s easier said than done). I don’t engage my brain as rigourously as I would like to.

– It will allow me freedom to teach in Bible colleges. I do this already, but for some my only having a BD is an issue. They require a masters or a doctorate.

What I’d like to do is primarily in the area of church history and Australian history. I don’t really care if its a Masters in Theology or a Doctorate in Ministry or whatever else. (I don’t think I’m likely to hang the title ‘Dr’ over anything I do!)

My interest is in developing a really good understanding of what has transpired over the last 2000 years of church history – the different issues and debates that were had and the learning we can glean from this, especially as the world and church change. I’d then like to look at both Australian church history and Australian history in general to place the Oz church in its more specific historical context. From there I’d like to reflect on where we are at right now in the life of the Church and our mission in the west. I think the ability to observe patterns over 2000 years as well as the insight to detect what is ‘new’ and what is merely recycled will be valuable at this point in history and will help us avoid mistakes and the arrogance of thinking we are something ‘new’ or ‘special’.

I have done a couple of church history units and really enjoyed them, but they were while I was studying 3 other units at the same time, so they only ever got the attention I could afford, which meant I didn’t come out with as strong a grasp of history as I would like.

Some other criteria:

In some ways I’d like to make the focus a serious research project in the area rather than course work.

I’d like to do it in West Oz if possible but am happy to do it externally.

Any thoughts people?

Any ideas of where to study?

I figure if I give myself a year to chew it thru then the idea will either grow and become something I ‘must’ do, or it will die as a whim and I’ll save myself a lot of pain!

With the Wind

Today we went to the zoo and then on the way home I had Danelle drop me around 20 kms from home so I could cycle the rest.

I was pretty buggered from walking round the zoo all day, but the beauty of the ride home was that the wind was at my back the whole way. What a difference it makes!

May the wind be at your back in the year ahead.yonkers joe movie download

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About 4 years ago I stuffed my back up while painting… yes… rolling paint on the wall.

Very sad I know!

I painted from 8.00pm – 1.00am one night and spent the final two hours making a tiny amount of paint cover a kitchen which meant more ‘grinding’ than rolling. The next day I could hardly get out of bed.

Since then I have had endless ongoing back dramas. It rarely means I can’t move, but it does mean a fair bit of pain for a few days.

Today it went again. We were doing a backyard blitz for a local mum and in the first 15 minutes of digging a trench I felt it tighten up. Within 30 minutes I was as good as useless. I hate baling on things like that, but there wasn’t much I could do, so I left and came home.

3 or 4 days…

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