Last night I watched an excellent episode of Compass – one which I also found incredibly infuriating and nauseating.
It was a lesson in how not to raise a child in a Christian home.
It was the study of one family’s life as their teenage daughter grew from 16 to 22 and sought to discover her own identity while also trying to break free from the grip of a controlling and manipulative insecure father.
Despite her desire to be an actor or artist, her father shoved her into a teaching degree, which not surprisingly, she failed. He frowned on her artsy ways and sought to crowbar her into his worldview at every turn.
It didn’t work.
It was a disturbing doco as you watched a young girl seeking to discover her own identity and yet at the same time love and honour her father, who severed contact with her on 3 separate occasions during the time. It was sad watching the internal battle she went thru to be true to herself and yet not do the wrong thing by her dad – who in my humble opinion was a pompous turkey – and completely blind to his turkeyness.
So much of the manipulation and control revolved around absolute conformity to his understanding of Christian behavior. Her tattoo was an example. Frowned on by dad, she eventually had it removed to please him – or appease him. But she never could get it right… no matter what she tried.
I went to sleep last night praying for this girl and others like her who have been victims of religious manipulation by the people who love them the most.
No doubt Catrina was not an easy kid to raise because she challenged the status quo, but I’d have to say Keith (her dad) simply couldn’t cope with anyone who challenged his authority or disagree with him.
You can download it here
. It is well worth watching if you want to avoid the same mistakes.
Grrr… still seething…
Yeah, I saw it too and had a similar reaction. I alternated between cringing and wanting to slap Keith on the side of the head. More than anything, though, my wife and I went to bed feeling really sad.
I cringed, too, at the segments of preaching that were included. And I’ve wondered since just how much of Keith’s dysfunctional / abusive responses were a consequence of his own story, the dodgy teaching he has sat under Sunday by Sunday, and his own deep insecurities.
I know they say the path to hell is paved with good intentions, but Keith didn’t t set out to be a lousy parent. I suspect his intentions are much like mine. I guess we’re all blind to our ‘turkeyness’ in one way or another.
Ah good, I am glad somebody else saw it! I stumbled on it about 5 minutes in and it was an early interaction between Keith and Catrina that got me to keep watching!
I too was absolutely infuriated at Keith. It was just so sad to see Catrina go through what she did! Luckily, she had her own faith to fall back on (even though it didn’t meet her Father’s standards) but it just reminded me how often times the result of this sort of interaction is the child giving up on faith, and that saddens me!
I also agree with Simon but, Keith WAS trying to do what he believed was right…and thats whats hard about it! He had good, honest intentions…
I won’t pretend to know how to ‘parent’ because I am a single, 23 year old guy…but that was hard to watch. I went to bed praying for Keith, Catrina, Luke, the whole family.
Yeah – I’m sure Keith was trying to do the right thing – and I’m also sure the ‘slant’ of the doco was to make look odd.
It just left me very very disturbed at the theology that underpins the approach he took and the fact that it is not uncommon in more conservative churches.
I was yelling at the screen when she decided to get her tatt removed… “dont do it!!”
Made me angry, but went beyond that as it touched on my own journey… And Im sure, so many journies. Luckily for her she seemed to be able to hold on, however slimly to her dreams. What is really sad is all the folks ( seems to happen to artists alot) that have not been able to have the same luck or “stubborn pride” as people like her Father are so fond of calling it.