It’s been around 3 months now since the news around Bill Hybels shifted from absolutely, definitely ‘innocent and unfairly accused’ to despicably ‘guilty as charged’ and the information that made it to the public space is quite possibly just the tip of the iceberg. If Hybels was this foolish and inappropriate with the people close to him – the other ‘strong leaders’ – who in the end were courageous enough to speak up (despite his denials and shaming of them) then how did he treat the young and vulnerable who were in awe of him?
If the independent investigation is to be believed (and it certainly sounds credible) then Hybels was an ongoing philanderer who used his power to get what he wanted and then get away with it.
On one hand this is shocking news – and I use ‘shocking’ as in disbelief. On the other hand it is probably no great surprise as he is as human and vulnerable to failure as any lesser mortal. He had acquired enormous power and status perhaps enough to make him feel the rules were different for him, or maybe he would never get caught out?
I remember the first time I heard Hybels speak at a WCA conference and I was in awe of his passion, clarity and focus. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to lead with his strength and vision and for a time I tried to step into that persona. It ‘worked’ in that we ran church like a successful organisation, but after a while I shifted gears and decided that the Hybels approach to leadership didn’t reflect who I felt called to be. I still held him in the highest esteem for his achievements and his love for the church.
(I was about to write his ‘apparent love for the church’, but I believe he was genuine – he probably still is. Bill Hybels probably still believes in the power and beauty of the church – at least in theory.)
What I really struggle to understand is how a man who spoke so much about transparency and authenticity has been unable to simply say ‘I screwed up – I really blew it – and I am sorry’. Is it simply that ‘sorry’ opens the door to a plethora of other allegations, and then a possible bankruptcy? Is it that simple – a case of dollars and cents? I’d really hope not.
I do not get why he can’t face up to the people who have listened to him and respected him for so long. Surely they are owed more than his silence and invisibility.
And these people (like myself and others who attended conferences) are not even the ones who have suffered. I feel gyped by Hybels. I find myself wondering ‘who was he screwing last time I heard him speak?’ Crass… yeah I know… it is crass stuff.
But the actual real people who were used and abused by Hybels are still left with no admission of guilt, let alone a sincere apology and a desire to try and make amends however that would look. This is a disturbing insight into Hybel’s character. I have it described as narcissism – and a narcissist is never in the wrong.
But – surely, surely, surely at some point you must move past self deception to admit you got it wrong and that the gospel of grace and forgiveness you preached with such passion is actually available to you. Yeah – you might ‘lose everything’ in recompensing the people you have wronged – but surely this is where you are now anyway?
I’m not calling for Hybels to come clean because it will ease his personal burden – but simply because sometimes you screw up and you have to own it. And until you own it – the issue remains unresolved both in the minds of people like me and also much more importantly in the lives of those who were hurt.
So – on the off chance that you are googling your own name Bill and you have come across my post – then this is just a plea to make things right by having the balls to own your mistakes and to step up to the plate. I know the church that I have experienced would forgive you in a heartbeat – we would see ourselves in your struggle and we would welcome you back into the family and seek to help you on a path of restoration. You would find love, acceptance and forgiveness in spades. But while you stand at a distance and plead innocent you can never experience this. The time for stoic denial is surely well over and the time to repent and ask forgiveness is ripe.
There is this bloke they used to call ‘a friend of sinners’. He has all the time in the world for the broken and the screwed up – he has grace in abundance for the person who admits their fault. But for the man who stands in his own self righteousness he has nothing but harsh words and judgement.
Your call.
I’ve not followed Hybels, never really been interested, other than to start hearing rumours (possibly here) of his fall.
It’s something I’ve come to actually expect of – I was going to write American, but actually it seems wider than that) leaders in this generation (Billy Graham, Bob Mumford, Denis Bennett etc all being the previous generation). I wonder if, having seen the charismatic movement come to life in last century with so many men of great integrity, we’ll see the early 21st century as being the years of the hollow church, invaded by POMO, liberal thinking, of dissentions and factions, of leaders who can’t keep their dicks in their trousers, of alpha women leaders establishing their equality before the world, of homosexual practice welcomed as being equivalent to marriage, of quasi-cults being embraced (looking at you, 3DM).
I dunno.
The church keeps changing with each generation. At one time I’d have seen God at work in it, but now I wonder more & more if it’s just people doing what people do.
I’d be interested to know if Hybels was one of the guys who promoted Trump and who had access to him.
My suspicion is that he probably fell once, repented, discovered everything carried on just as before. Rinse and repeat. In the end line lines between sin & not-sin became so blurred that he couldn’t tell the difference, and since God was apparently still blessing the ministry it must be OK? Certainly among some American Churchgoers there has been a general acceptance that infidelity is OK really and quite normal (as long as you don’t get caught) based on conversations with guys in worship teams
I also wonder if HE wondered whether God was really at work in the church, or if it wasn’t simply down to smart, clever guys like himself who kept the plates spining on the sticks. Keep telling the story, like you always did, everything will be OK. I wonder that myself sometimes too, particularly taking a look at a bit of church history, older & more recent.
Walking away (to do some lab work) then returning to my desk I remembered a post of yours just a few weeks back that made me stop & think. http://www.backyardmissionary.com/dumb-grace/
Are there big sins and little sins? Does “Unbounded forgiveness just felt dumb – ridiculous and completely undeserved (which of course was the point). ” apply in a case like this? Is there or should there been a ‘sin threshold’ above which divine retribution kicks in or ones weakness are exposed to public view? Would it be on the first porn viewing, the first adulterous relationship, the first kiddie-fiddle? If we were in charge then we would not run it this badly!
😉
I don’t know where this goes, really. So many of the guys who we once looked up to (Paul Yonghi Cho, the guy who ran Hillsongs etc etc) seem to have crashed and burned, often pulling whole swathes down with them in their fall. Did Jesus provide advice to them with the parabel of the shrewd manager, I wonder?
Though I’ve sent plenty of big name Christian leaders in disgrace, seeing Hybels was one of them came as a shock. I thought he was one of the good guys (just having read as few of his books and seen a few videos) – sensible, empowering women, affirming ordinary believers.
Otoh if I’d known he had a private jet, that alone would have shifted him out of the category of leaders I regarded highly.
As you say, it’s hard to get over the fact that he won’t fess up and say sorry. Should be the most obvious (though not easy) thing for anyone who knows the gospel he & we have been preaching all these years.
Yep – real sad!
And, by owning the truth of ‘I’ve stuffed up’ then, the people he harm, hurt & shamed may finally become the focus of the issue and the ministry of the church.
Good point indeed Sue
CAAI (Christianity as an Industry) will always collapse. The two are antithetical.
Yep – it is a definite departure from what Jesus has in mind!!