It wasn’t the word I was originally thinking of to describe the last 31 years of continuous pastoral leadership, but my friend suggested it the other day and it does capture it well.

As we had lunch he asked me what I was looking forward to in this next phase and quite simply one of those things is the freedom to not be ‘on duty’ every Sunday.

Every Sunday for the last 31 years, unless we have been on holidays we have been at church and ‘responsible’. Before that we were there each week voluntarily and prior to that as a kid I was required to attend both morning and evening by my parents. So there is something in me that is really looking forward to that change.

It has been relentless.

It’s not at all that I want to stay home and sleep in every week or turn up when I have nothing better to do. That isn’t how I view church. But it will be nice to ‘come and be part of’ rather than always alert to the demands of leadership. (That said, there is a part of me that wonders if that part of me will ever be able to switch off.)

It will be nice to visit our kids churches or to catch up with friends who live in the country, things we find difficult when we are committed to one community. It will be nice to have brunch with our neighbours because we aren’t already committed.

The word ‘relentless’ has a somewhat negative tone to it, but my experience hasn’t been negative – just constant – never ending.

Re lent less…

I feel a bit like a kid who is about to finish ATAR. After 12 years of schooling the freedom of the next stage looks inviting but I don’t really know how it will feel. Of course it’s not that we ever move away from commitment and responsibility, but it just changes shape. From year 12 there is university study, or work.

For us the responsibilities just shift to a different focus. I want to write more. I have a few books I am feeling I’d like to write. With no one pushing me and no external forces it’s simply down to me to get it done. And oddly enough as much as I want to do it, I also avoid it. I will need to commit to this. I need to set time aside and push the self discipline button.

As well as writing I have the two businesses to oversee.

I have made a conscious choice to scale Brighton Retic back to simple repair work. No more grunt work, installs or turf laying – a tough decision because I love that part of the job, but the body is hurting and it’s saying ‘enough’. I have heard it the last few years but kept going. Now it’s screaming at me. ‘Slow down!’ I struggle to grasp that I am no longer capable of the work I did so easily 10 years ago – and I resist the idea of physical weakness as though it were a personal fault. We went to a seminar recently where the facilitator asked us to ponder what unreasonable expectations or assumptions we make about ourselves. I had to admit that I expect to function with the same boundless energy, strength and capacity as I had 10 years ago. But the simple reality is that my body is getting slowly weaker as I get older. My hands and elbows hurt and I know the source is excessive twisting and turning, my knees need nursing through a retic season and my back has ongoing pain. These are just my body telling me it’s time to change tack.

So this year will be a downscaling of the business. Danelle will keep the phone and take calls and book jobs. She will limit my jobs to a manageable load on 3 days of the week and I will just have to turn some people away, or possibly even sell the business. Originally we were looking at hiring a manager or worker, but this way just seems to keep it simple and flexible… We shall see… I think she may regret agreeing to do the admin!

The caravan business has been flourishing. It’s around 6 or 7 jobs a week consistently now and as well as this I have been supplying and installing diesel heaters for people. If you google ‘Perth Diesel Heaters’ I am the top listing – in fact the only listing – so I have been developing that business with the hope that eventually I may be able to get someone working in it – or it could be sold. The 6 or 7 weighs and the 1 or 2 diesel heaters each week has seen the business really bump its numbers up. l’m enjoying seeing this business slowly catch fire and I think it will be a real winner going forwards.

So some people have asked me if I am ‘retiring’ and the short answer is ‘no – I don’t believe in retirement.’ But I am looking forward to the shift in focus and the different rhythms of life that will accompany this. I am looking forward to a less ‘relentless’ period, but certainly not looking to hang the boots up and sit home and watch Netflix full time 🙂

So here’s to a less relentless experience of life and to learning how to operate as a Christian leader in a new space!