It seems dreams run hot when you are young and free – when there is no one else to think of and when you can re-orient your whole life in an afternoon.
But… get married, have kids, ‘settle down’ and slowly those crazy youthful dreams seem to become ‘unrealistic’ or ‘impractical’. Once you have a mortgage life takes on a whole new shape again. Now you are completely buggered because so much of life becomes about making sure the payments are made on time.
I do think its important to get some balance between stability and spontaneity, but I also tend to think that middle class living boots the spontaneity right out of us – and often we don’t even notice. The spirit of adventure gets completely screwed as we seek to achieve what we have called ‘financial security’.
I sometimes fear I have ‘settled down’.
As much as I sometimes loathe the predictability of the life I seem to live, at the same time I find comfort in its routines… Its a strange conundrum. There is both comfort and anxiety, peace and frustration. Lately I have enjoyed the routine and stability more than ever. Its a worry.
Today I was surfing ebay…
Occasionally I have dreamt about buying a bloody huge camperbus, taking a year off everything and just travelling around Oz with Danelle and the kids, stopping where we want to, doing the homeschool thing, living differently, just seeing what might happen… We might just have a great holiday. We might meet some interesting people. We might work in some different jobs. I reckon it would be a very cool adventure, just to pull up stumps for a year and hit the road with no agenda other than to see the country and figure it out as we go.
We have talked about it a little, occasionally given it a second look, but it really is a very impractical thing to do. It could well be construed as a waste of time and money, as a disruption to our kids schooling etc etc… It isn’t really what sensible people do… is it?
But… wouldn’t it be a hoot?!
I looked at a few of those motorhomes on ebay today and it kindled a spark…
It made me realise that 20 years ago I probably would have just hit ‘buy now’ and hardly given it a second thought, but now there are many reasons to think twice. Perhaps the most significant reason Danelle and I would hold back is because we felt God say ‘no’, for whatever reason. Other than that there’s probably no pressing reason not to just give it a crack.
Is it just me or do other people have similar crazy dreams that get sidelined by the demands of a suburban life?
Do you reckon we ought to play a little harder?…
I guess you know what I am thinking!
I totally hear you! And I’m only 26!
There is a definite balance required between spontaneity & stability – just as there is a fine line between spontaneity/stupidity and stability/BORING!
bec
“Is it just me or do other people have similar crazy dreams that get sidelined by the demands of a suburban life?”
I look for sailboat/houseboats but my wife’s a definite “NO GO” on this unless we can take ALL of the kids and grandkids. That’s a BIG boat!
play a little harder… go on, you can do it!
i’m a big believer of following your dreams, and for us that means we are now tied to a serious mortgage – the mortgage was not the dream, but what we’re creating with it is…
but – chucking it all in and travelling as the wind blows by boat or bus, does sound tempting, and more so every time the interest rates go higher…
short of a hand written note from the Almighty himself, telling us to “go”, we are well and truly “stuck” right here in the middle of suburban Joondalup.
We too have wondered about the idea of heading off on an adventure with the kids for a year, but the $11,000 we would have to put down at LJBC to keep their places in the school for our return a year later means that dream will stay in the ether until further notice.
Disappearing to Halls Creek forever is also a personal dream, a single man’s “call” if you will. Something too that will continue to be wrestled out 3,000km from the site of desire.
However, being in the same place for a long time, right here in the middle of suburbia – exploring an alternative lifestyle with alternative values, seems to represent some sort of an oasis in the middle of a modern day desert, for the many people who seek us out as a temporary refuge – a safe place.
hence our life mantra… mi casa et su casa – “our home is your home”. There’s something Benedictine about that kind of stability that offers us some sort of solace in the midst of the wrestles with spontaneity and change.
thanks for the space for the thoughts…
peace, matt
good thoughts – you’re right Bec – spontaneity and stupidity are sometimes a hairs breadth apart! I wonder tbough if we so fear being seen as stupid that we rarely ever walk up to the line – let alone step over it 🙂
Matty – I hear you. For us to drop everything means severing different ‘strings’. There is a whole bunch of responsibility that I carry that it is hard to just press pause on. In fact it may even be selfish to do so.
Wisdom…
Travel without moving Hamo.
Mind you – I’m off to Antarctica for the 18 month long session if I had the chance – even Alli would volunteer for that with me but kids are not a possibility on that trip.
So, no beard for me and 40 degree days through summer.
I’m 53 and life seems to get more and more exciting every year. I’ve got a photo on my wall at work that I took years ago at the Derby rodeo. It’s there to remind me to live life on the edge. I can’t afford to travel Oz in a bus but God has never let me get bored with life. As chair of Jesus All About Life WA Campaign Committee I am involved with a group of people who are some of the most energetic people I have met with a passion for evangelism. We believe that this could be the most far-reaching evangelistic exercise ever seen in WA. As a result I’m looking forward to this year with great expectation. Sorry if this post sounds like a commercial – it probably is. See http://www.jesusallaboutlife.com.au
WWJT?
Where Would Jesus Tour?. . .
I reckon Margaret River would be a good start if he was on holiday – no need to work all day turning water into wine and both left and right breaks in the surf by the river for the latest board to come out of the carpentry shop. Plus plenty of cheesemakers to be blessed – as in “Blessed are the cheesemakers”.
dude,
All I can say as a man of 44 years with a worrisome wife, a mortgage and a son approaching college, making a drastic career change on the outside looks like insanity, but I can’t imagine staying put in the life I was leading.
I was always told that unasked for advice is criticism, so I don’t know if this comment is merited or not. I challenged an older guy a couple years ago who was expressing similar sentiments and he got mad at me, but he still hasnt changed and he is depressed and pitiful.
I would say to the fact that you are even entertaining the idea indicates there is some need to change.
What do you really have to lose? Maybe a little money, but worse, your faith. When I found I was telling yesterday’s stories, I knew my faith was stagnant and moving toward death, I didn’t want to get to my latter years and regret the easy life. My motto now is more like “I’m glad I did.” not “I wish I had”
Hi Hamo,
Definitely feeling the constraints of the mortgage. I know it’s a great investment, and I know we won’t regret having bought a big house when we did, but it does tie us down, and there’s no way we’re getting out of debt any time soon.
I’d like at some point to sell the ranch and go on the road for a while, but the details of that scenario never seem to get clear in my mind, or sound convincing to the missus…
I’ve been thinking lately of how enslaved I am to financial commitments. I think it constrains us from being able to follow the Spirit. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening with you necessarily – I am saying I see it happening with me. I am working to intentionally lessen the captivity I am under to things – mortgage, debt, budget expenses, etc.
Anyways, your post just made me think of these things…
I’ve felt this way 10 Times a day every day for the last few years. Right now we need a new car (as I killed my bomb) so I can get to work while my wife can still have the family car. However the fact that I’m really hoping to chuck in my “very successful” but unfulfilling life and hit the road (metaphorically) in mission makes me reluctant to get yet another car loan. One positive is that we are moving in the right direction having sold some real estate (that we were only keeping out of duty to some wealth fantasy) we reduced our mortgage and feel just that little bit freer. We may never become rich of real estate but next week I’m taking my family to the coast for the week and I couldn’t do that if I’d kept the house.
Small steps but movement none the less.
To have settled down, i think, is a state of mind. Kinda like looking at the glass as half empty….
If settling down implies having a spouse, kids a 9-5 job and a house, then there are many people who lack one, maybe even all four of those things.
If one is feeling constricted by life, then spice it up, just little at the very least and make some fun for yourself!! Maybe it cant be a ‘wild’ as buying the camperbus and packing off for the entire year, but taking off on a road trip for the weekend is real easy to achieve.
Life on the road will bring other responsibilities which could make the ‘settled down’ life seem delightful in comparison. The John Butler Trio’s ‘Better Than’ enlightens us with something along the lines of: The grass may be greener on the otherside, but its just as hard to mow.
I owe, I owe – it’s off to work I go.
Oh, I reckon Jesus would travel by thumb rather than Motorhome … the Backpack thing, yes He would, I’m sure – but then you would see 13 blokes all with their thumbs hanging out and all trying to fit into a Honda Civic or maybe Grendel’s new motor?
Mark R –
it would not be a Honda Civic.
did no one ever tell you?
‘the 12 disciples were all in one accord.’
well I am about to move to Margaret River with very little more than a ‘feeling’ it is where I am ‘meant’ to be…spontaneity rocks!
And, strangely enough, everything seems to be falling perfectly into place:)
Rachel – I love that quote from Butler – one I use often! And i think you are correct that a change is not always easy.
But my point is that many of us don’t even get as far as considering doing something that will throw the world into a bit of chaos because there are too many constraints on us and we just don’t see it as practical.
FWIW – I have begun some investigating.
I’m not sure what shape any big trip will take at this stage, but it will be a reflection of my own values:
– we are who we are wherever we go – so it won’t be an opt out of being a follower of Jesus / missionary for that time. It’d be a case of being ‘us’ on the road
– we won’t be spending a lot of money – I struggle with spending obscene amounts of money on travel, but there are also costs to meet. I reckon we will do is as cheap as possible
– there would be a lot of freedom and flex in whatever ‘plans’ we make
Not sure what else, but those things seem important.
James – I read something about this move on your blog!
Is there a job? Or just a desire to move?…
Sounds like a great adventure mate!!
Hamo – you can’t go anywhere on the road, you’ve just bought an espresso machine.
If you do travel you’ll need to buy a conveyance with an appropriate workbench for the Sunbeam.
Grendel, I believe Jesus was referring to all dairy manufacturers!
Having just moved to Brisbane with a desire to have a change of life, I see where you’re coming from. But without kids or a mortgage it’s a lot easier for Karyn and I.
Steve Biddulph writes in “Manhood” that when you get a mortgage the bank manager takes one of your testicles, because after that you don’t have the balls to do anything!
Could this be linked to some dissatisfaction or “boredom” with current life?