So much of what is written or spoken about in Christian leadership seems to be about the organisational task of moving a church towards its ‘vision’ or intended direction. Not wrong and I agree that there is that element to leadership, but anyone who lasts a while in ministry knows that the real work of leadership and ministry is actually done in the micro-setting – one to one in personal relationships.

It’s as we help people grow and develop that our ‘organisation’ actually becomes what we want it to be. More specifically its as we help people become more like Christ that the church takes on the shape it is intended to have. ‘Equipping the saints’ may have a ‘skills’ aspect to it, but I am increasingly convinced it is more to do with shaping character and helping people tap into what God is up to in their lives.

You just can’t do that anywhere near as effectively by running a program or preaching a sermon. Even a small group has a limited impact. But as you sit with someone and spend time fully engaged with them, you have the potential to make a significant difference.

These days I tell people I have 3 simple roles leading, teaching and meeting with blokes – just 3 things. I’ll also meet with women where its appropriate, but by and large the most important stuff I do is in those purposeful connections with men. Its where the bulk of the ‘leading’ gets done.

I remember as a young pastor knowing I needed to catch people one to one and doing it, but not really knowing quite what I was doing, why we were meeting or what I was hoping for. I often felt awkward and like I was spinning my wheels, and even wasting people’s time because unless it was a Bible study, I lacked a sense of purpose and I also didn’t feel genuine permission to ask significant questions of the people I was meeting with. I’m guessing they felt it too – nice to see you, but so what?…

I can’t say I feel that now, nor do I have many meetings where there is no sense of purpose. Sometimes the purpose is simply to catch up and shoot the breeze. Many of those in our church community are my good friends and its nice to have lunch and talk cars, caravans and surfing. But most often if we are meeting one to one it will involve deliberate inquiry as to a person’s life trajectory, particularly their spiritual formation, and then helping them reflect on their experience of God and prompting them to consider what God may be saying in their life. Its not about how often you’ve read your Bible, prayed and gone to church. Its focused on helping them pay attention to the work God is doing in their own experience and as they encounter scripture. Its intentional and unapologetically, direct at times.

Of course people can do this themselves but sometimes its easier when someone else is guiding and prompting than just listening to your own thoughts.

I’d say that any Christian leader who isn’t spending intentional one to one time with a small but significant number of people is actually neglecting the core work that is required to shape a community and lead it purposefully. Preaching only makes sense if we know the people we are preaching to, leading only takes form when we know the people we are called to lead.

Its the real work of leadership that we have been called to – helping people form into the likeness of Christ and then seeing what takes shape out of that.